I have yet to figure why anyone would be interested in what I have to blog, so this is an experiment dedicated to friends of mine who seem to think otherwise!
*”Like a bird on a wire, like a drunk in a midnight choir, I have tried in my way to be free.
Like a worm on a hook, like a knight frm some ol’ fashioned book, I have saved my ribbons for thee…
If I have been unkind, I hope you can just let it go by
If I have been untrue, I hope you know it was never to you…”*
With that disclaimer to all who may read this blog, I promise to be myself – frank, irregular and not terribly reverent or relevant for that matter.
(*courtesy Leonard Cohen who I utterly adore ! catch Vir Sangvi’s thoughts on the man in HT Mumbai weekend)
Every time I listen to this song, I am enchanted and in love. Watch this video on www.youtube.com where Sara Hickman talks about her song ‘Simply’ and sings it for us!
‘Simply’ is a real love song – something Sara wrote for a special someone. He never saw any worth in it and as a result she too believed that it was “a broken song”. In the video she tells this story, and points out that sometimes a creation may not work for the muse or the creator but it can touch people with magic. That is when its true worth emerges. An important lesson to learn if one is a creator of any sort!
She brings that beautiful love, pain and selflessness to this song like no one else can. It makes one realise that the love is no more between her and “the boy she wrote it for”, instead the love is between the song and herself. Do listen to it and decide for yourself.
‘SIMPLY’ by Sara Hickman
I’ll tell you simply I’m falling for you / I’ve never felt this way before
I dont need flowers & I dont mind tears / I just need you through the years
I’m your lover and you are my friend / We’ve got laughter to share
I’ll always want you to want me /I’ll always want you to care.
We cant be one but two’s fine with me / You’ve got your time and I’ve got mine
I dont need you under my hand / I just need you to understand.
At International Film Festival of Kerala 2009, today is a quiet day – so far – all in anticipation of the awards announcement this evening. An interesting sight to see jury members in hushed corners debating over decisions and filmmakers wondering about their fortunes… Last year I was there.
2008 December 19th – I was thrilled with the first screening of my film Manjadikuru a day before, and to me that was a milestone in itself – the film was finally SEEN by an audience! It is not something I take for granted.
So attending the awards ceremony on the last day was a mere ritual that marked the end of the festival. Without much of a thought our team chattered along to the function. With the twilight, the lights dimmed and the attention moved onto the stage. The first award announcement was made – somewhere in it was my name. As we heard it, my husband and I just looked at each other blankly. No reactions. On the stage, some words were being read out (the citation!) and we just sat and watched. Finally someone on stage actually asked me to come up and that is when it started to sink in. I ran up in a blur, mumbled something and ran down in the same speed. I had to read the certificate to realise that it was the Best Indian Debut Director Award! And then my big smile came on, and I will admit, so did tears. Back at my seat were the individuals who had stood by me through thick and thin, each one moved to moist-eyed smiles. Even as I write this today, I am overwhelmed. Truly redemptive. So many positives and negatives have been part of this journey and for this moment it seemed worth it.
The next award was the FIPRESCI for the Best Malayalam Film. Once again it was Manjadikuru. Aaah… ecstasy! The first time I had read a FIPRESCI review was in 2001 when my mentor Asif Kapadia won it for “The Warrior”. I continued to read up on FIPRESCI and its reviews with awe through the years. And now our film was on that list I cant tell you how much it means to me. Those moments will stay with me forever. The next day was my birthday and this was the best gift I could get!
Today, someone else will be in that moment… and I am very excited for that person. I wish those person/s that peculiar high that makes it worth everything!
Its that time of year when people turn to film appreciation, with two-three major fests in India and so much debate/discussion on the worth of ‘good cinema’. Over the next 10 days, am designing a filmmaking workshop for women and attending another workshop where am supposed to handle the segment on Short Films – both in Kerala. Wonderful opportunities but they leave me wondering if I know anything enough to teach! When I was at film school, on the teaching staff room door there was a poster which proclaimed:
THOSE WHO CANT, TEACH
THOSE WHO CANT TEACH, TEACH GYM
THOSE WHO CANT TEACH GYM, TEACH AT FILM SCHOOL!
Ha! Many chuckles on that one… its always been so easy to make evident one’s boredom in insipid classes (YAWN!) and to walk out of one never to return! But now the tables are turned and am wondering how I should keep those bums on seats. Time to atone for all those classes I cut… No clue if I would be good, bad or ugly at it. Personally I don’t think much can be taught about filmmaking (besides technicals) but there’s plenty to learn. So what I hope is to create an environment that may breed some open irreverent thought on film. My attention span is rather tiny so the biggest challenge would be to for me not to yawn…
One of my favourite classes at London Film School was conducted by Alan Bernstein on Wednesday mornings. He showed us a film in the cinema and then deconstructed it with us. Being in a dark cinema, it was the easiest class to bunk and I have bunked quite a few. Only problem was that with this class, I always knew that I was the one losing out. Last year when I first saw the FIPRESCI review of my debut film Manjadikuru, the first person I sent it to was Alan. That should tell you how good he was.
Looking back, what made it special was the interest he took in each of us and our individual interpretation to film. Taking the cue, I enquired about the members for the women’s workshop – apparently someone is flying in from abroad to just attend the workshop… another one fighting the constraints of a conservative family to attend a three day workshop… yet another who wants to walk out of a lucrative career into film… and suddenly this seems more like an opportunity for me to learn.
An interesting thought has emerged yet again… distribution of regional language films in India with subtitles.
It has been talked about often but no one seems to be doing much about it. Even an epic film like Pazhassi Raja is dubbed into multiple languages but not released with subtitles. Personally I find dubbed language films rather unsettling and would rather read subtitles. That way the performances are real and we are closer to the filmmaker’s original version. Dubbed films may be a way to reach out to audiences who may be unable to read. But in the context of multiplex viewer demographics, how much of a factor is that?
Fact is that quite a few films get subtitled (for the Panorama/ film festivals etc.), yet their release prints have no subtitles on them. There is an interest in non-Hindi cinema at the moment, especially among the multiplex crowd. But these filmlovers opt to see a French/Hungarian/Polish film over a homegrown classic. Why?
Subtitles.
In a city like Mumbai, regional films are screened in multiplexes and this pulls in the regional audience. But it stops there. High time we step over this line. For all this talk of regional films being marginalized why don’t the regional filmmakers/producers/distributers look at this tiny element that can make such a difference?
It is embarrassing when some 16 year old Brazilian raves about a quirky Bengali film he has seen but I (the non-Bengali Indian) haven’t even heard of it!
Today Kerala Cafe is releasing outside Kerala – in Mumbai, Pune, Ahmedabad, New Delhi, Bangalore, Michigan, Texas and God alone knows where else. Without subtitles.
Shashi Tharoor has tweeted about Kerala Cafe – “It’s a revelation to Indians weaned on Bollywood to realize that India has film-makers of such quality.KCafe deserves 2b seen outside Kerala.” It is a real pity that though KC will be seen outside Kerala, it will not be experienced outside the community of Keralites.
“i didnt get tickets coz it was housefull – and that makes me very happy!”
“WOOHOO!”
(and there was this one guy who called me and was quiet – a few fumbled words later, I figured he couldn’t stop smiling!)
These are responses I have got from my crew over the past 10 days, to the fate of our films… different films, different contexts , different people but the enthusiasm is the same. I love the feeling that for each of us it is a piece of ourselves and the passion for it quite never dies. These reactions come from people who worked tirelessly over seemingly insignificant details. But when the films are watched, they get their redemption because those details make up the whole experience. I’d like to thank them for their trust, their work, their madness, and fun spirit which makes the journey as special as the destination. Some journeys are short and some are loooooong but I am blessed to have all of you with me.
For the first time in my life, a film I made is being released today. A film called Kerala Cafe. A 63 print release in Kerala. 10 directors to share the excitement and anxiety with.
What exactly am I feeling besides the butterflies in my tummy?!!!
The closest approximation I can make is the kind of feeling one has when going to a new school. Remember how you felt odd at this new school but wanted to make friends and be liked? Well I feel the same way.
I am not someone who believes in films made by/for/of the filmmaker. Like in the rasa theory, I crave to know if my work can touch the audience… will it make them smile, worry, twitch their eyebrows, chuckle and make them think? And this I have been craving for a long time… and now its here, so lets face it with a smile and humility.
My name ‘Anjali’ means offering; and that is exactly what this is. A quirky piece of me to everyone. Happy Journey…
A few years ago, if someone had said that someday I’d be writing moony words about the American President I’d have rubbished it aggressively.
But here goes…
It was a real treat to watch Barack Obama on the David Letterman show. Besides his clarity of speech and thought, one couldn’t ignore his casual warmth and sense of humour. A willingness to listen and to converse. No shouting invectives or with-us-against-us insecurities here.
When Letterman brought up the suggestion that most of criticism on Obama was probably racially motivated. Obama retorts “I think its important to realize that I was actually black before the elections!” Letterman quips “How long have you been a black man?” Finally someone the world can laugh with rather than at!
The episode made me wonder about the accessibility of most politicians/ (some may say ‘leaders’) for the common public – when it NOT an election campaign period.
Sure we hear about Rahul Gandhi, three puris and the handpump shower at a Dalit home. But do you think if you had a problem you could go to the concerned official/department/ Ministry to speak to someone? Or do they run you around in bureaucratic circles and then wrap you in scarlet red tape until you’re asphyxiated?
Am sure not anyone could speak to Mr.Obama to sort out their mess, but there must be an effect that a President with such a demeanour has. To work together his action team right down to the nth subordinate and intern would in the smallest way be influenced by the tone that he sets. The kind of quality expected of any leader – in a family, in an office, in a department, in a government department (trust me, they deserve a special mention!), in a country.
Like the old peom “Abou ben Adhem… May your tribe increase!”
David Letterman too, demonstrates something most of our television presenters cant do … let the other person speak.
I cant tell you how much it means to me. Those moments will stay with me forever. The next day was my birthday and this was the best gift I could get!
